Two things about Ron Paul that you can take to the bank are:
- The chances of him securing the GOP presidential nod are none and well, none.
- That sobering reality won’t make a whit of difference to his fiercely devoted army of wingnut supporters. They’ll still storm 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for him.
Paul has attracted the backing of just about every fringe group in America -- from inbred white
supremacists to 9-11 conspiracy paranoids, to flat-earthers, to UFO crackpots who just know that the little green men communicate with them through those stupid pyramid foil hats they sport.
We here at VicePresidents.com think that is precisely the demographic from which Paul should choose his VEEP running mate. The loyalty of those affectionately known “Paultards” is absolutely unquestioned and – let’s face it – they’d without a doubt add some much-needed color to the predictably drab home stretch of the obscenely long presidential campaign.
Here’s a couple choice supporters Paul might want to consider for VEEP:
Don Black, leader of Stormfront, a swell bunch of Neo-Nazis who have contributed money to the Paul campaign... who regularly goes all ga-ga over Paul on their website, Stormfront.org. Ron has ignored calls from “family values” film critic Michael Medved and others to return the donation.
- Pluses: Black would most definitely secure the American Neo-Nazi vote for Paul.
- Minuses: Unfortunately for Ron, the remaining 99.9999% of voters would then cast ballots for anyone – we’re talking Green Party, Peace and Freedom Party, Natural Law Party, hell, even Elvis, Liberace or O.J. – rather than support Paul.
Ilana Mercer, columnist for the religious right – far religious right - website, WorldNetDaily.com (just to give you an idea how far right, they sell an anti-Hillary t-shirt with her likeness crossed out and the slogan, “Re-defeat Communism 2008”)... who gushes, “Ron Paul is the gold standard for personal and political principles.” Puh-leeze.
- Pluses: Mercer would appeal to the female vote, and Lord knows Paul needs help there (women, much more than men, just seem to have a Sixth Sense knack for smelling out crazies and running in the opposite direction). Mercer is also good-looking enough to appeal to male voters who think with their, well, that organ.
- Minuses: Oh, would the Dems (not to mention other Republicans) have a field day with some of her selected writings. In a particularly nasty column about John McCain entitled “The Manchurian Candidate,” for instance, she posits, “I have to ask this: Did the North Vietnamese crop McCain’s arms? They’re abnormally short.” No compassionate conservative she, apparently.
Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederacy. Yes, he passed on a few years before Paul was born, but he and Ron seem to be political soul-mates of sorts. Paul, you see, recently told NBC’s Tim Russert that he thought "the U.S. Civil War was unnecessary to end slavery," while back in 1995, he attended a conference on secession sponsored by the Ludwig Von Mises Institute, described in some quarters as a neo-confederacy group. The conference’s flyers noted with more than a little giddiness that attendees could “adjourn for an optional lunch with Ron Paul on the ‘once and future Republic of Texas!’” Yee-haw!
- Pluses: No ifs, and or buts, Davis would deliver Paul the South.
- Minuses: He’s dead. Not to mention, wouldn’t he consider going from President of the Confederacy to VEEP of the U.S. a demotion?
